The Fifth Stage of Dating: Commitment

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Although many mid-life adults do not see the need to marry after raising kids, weathering divorce or the death of a spouse, or having been single for most of their life – today I want to make the case for getting hitched.

Lifetime commitment

Marriage is a lifetime commitment.  It is a declaration that you have found a soul connection and you want everyone to know about it.  I believe that without the formal ritual, the will to put a stake in the ground and announce, “She (he) is mine”, love will not continue to thrive.  Romantic love requires deep commitment in order to grow.  Settling for less will mean that you will have less.  Why be happy with eating crumbs when you can feast at the head of the table?

“Just a piece of paper”

I don’t hear many people my age refer to marriage anymore as “just a piece of paper.” More people today appear to realize that it is a sacred promise that far surpasses the civil contract.  It is a meaningful ritual that marks a new stage of our lives and often, at this stage, emotional healing from past loves and losses.

Ritual

The truth that only love prevails is reaffirmed by our participation in holy ritual.  A sacred ceremony casts a spell on our hearts.  It reminds us of who we are, and releases us to become who we are capable of being.  Rituals such as marriage provide points of genuine connection with what is true.  The light we receive through them remains inside us.  While a big costly wedding does not guarantee marital bliss, a sacred marriage ceremony has the spiritual power to weave two hearts together.

So there it is.  My advice on relationships is that stage five of dating is not about moving in.  It is, very specifically, getting engaged and using the time before marriage to prepare for the trials of a loving and lasting relationship.  Stay tuned for my next blog on the two most important skills in preparing for marriage.

From my advice on relationships to you …

Karen

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Would you get married again in mid-life? Have you? Share your tips and advice by posting a comment below!

Karen Brill

Karen is a personal development coach and workshop facilitator. She offers interactive workshops on Dating in Midlife to community groups and agencies, is a returning guest on Zoomer radio and a regular contributor to this blog and to Dialogue+ Magazine.

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Comments

  1. I believe "Commitment" is more than just the fifth stage of dating. It is where you can measure how you value your relationship by not just considering "love" for each other but every single thing in your lives.

    - Blake