Independent living: a proactive choice

“At some point, you know you’re going to have to deal with moving,” says Reg Desilets. “For me, I wanted to take it head on.” Reg’s straightforward approach typifies the attitude of many people his age who choose to move into a retirement home, albeit into independent living. Reg was “just 10 minutes up the road” from his current home, Credit River in Mississauga, so he followed his curiosity and investigated the community personally. Read more

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Independent means free

Choosing to move into independent living retirement is a proactive choice, a way of "taking the bull by the horns," as the old saying goes. After family has moved out and time goes on, a traditional urban family home loses the appeal it once had. While people claim that living on your own is freedom, that has limitations. Pesky tasks like lawn maintenance, gardening, clearing snow, and other home maintenance become “too much,” as people come to admit. “I love that I don’t have to do stairs anymore,” admits Reg. “My knees were shot.” But in addition, there’s the freedom of living in a community of people your own age. You’re all set to find a vibrant group of friends with whom you have everything in common. “There are so many good people here,” he says, “a lot of interesting people, people from different professions, different backgrounds. It’s always interesting here.”

And with house prices today, many people have found that they have more money than they might have realized. Reg admits that he was comfortable in his condo complex, but as he says, “the real estate market was really good, you know?”

Judy Morrison, a friend of Reg’s, agrees that current real estate prices were also a factor in her decision to sell her home and move. “It comes to a point where it’s better to move than to stay, you know? My house needed a new roof and a driveway, and I was looking at replacing all my appliances. I just said, ‘let somebody else have all that.’ I invested my money and feel pretty comfortable with my decision.”

Independent living is a move forward into a whole collection of good things. Someone else cooks meals for you. Costs are covered under one blanket monthly payment so you never see bills again. Communities are created for maximum accessibility, so stairs and narrow hallways are a thing of the past. It all comes together in an environment that’s renewing and empowering and full of new potential that includes social opportunities and more. 

Facing up to reality

There are simple facts of life, and one of a short list of things you can’t avoid is, you know (the one that's not "taxes"). Al Gordon puts it like this: “We have a lot of friends at the Ancaster Seniors Centre and we lost a lot of them.” He and his wife Auldine took the initiative and moved into a welcoming, wonderful local retirement home, The Meadowlands Retirement Residence. “We’ve seen people lose wives and husbands, and the person who’s left is caught with all the work, selling the house, organizing this and that, and we decided that wasn’t going to happen to us.” Al is so matter-of-fact about this that he can make jokes. “I know Auldine was saying, I hope he goes first,” he laughs. 

But for the two of them, “it was a conscious decision, and one we never thought twice about after moving. You find yourself among so many good people, people you’ve never met before and wouldn’t if you didn’t make the choice.” 

Still others move into independent living because they lost a spouse. “My wife passed away about three years ago, and that was hard, and after that I sure didn’t like living alone,” shares Art Thompson. Having moved into Oakcrossing in London, he’s circled now by a great number of friends, such as Dorothy Mereu and many more. “I don’t like to cook. I’m not very good at it!” he chuckles. “But I come here and I don’t have to shop, don’t have to cook or clean up. It’s all done by other people and done very well, I might add.”

Dorothy chimes in, “Well you sit together and you have nice conversations, too. It sure beats living alone.” 

Art goes on to share the story of how he moved. “Well, when my wife passed away, my kids were concerned, I’ll say. I’m kind of an outgoing person and they couldn’t understand me being dragged down.” He takes a breath and says, “But it was completely my decision. The kids gave me some help, sure, whatever I wanted to do they were willing to go along with it.  My son came from Calgary and stayed with me for about a month to help me make sure I was making the right decision, help me move, help me get rid of a lot of things, too. The hardest part was doing something with all the stuff! But we did it, we went through it. Now I usually sit with my friend, Jim, and GG and Miriam. We have such a variety of people here. Everyone has a different story to tell here. My daughter comes to visit here and she always tells people that there are so many interesting people here.” 

Living on your own can be interesting, but you know it's not nearly as much fun as you could be having in life. Moving into independent living is a way of facing facts at this stage of life. Art, Al, Reg and Judy are in a place that’s better, if for no other reason than the fact that they are around other people. One other benefit is that staff is available around the clock, should things change healthwise. As Reg would tell you, “Why not look ahead of the curve? Be prepared for what might come.” 

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